No Matter What
by LoveMeTender
Summary: Lizzie and Miranda come home from college to catch up with each other. Miranda has a confession to make. This is Lizzie's thoughts on what's going on. A story about best friends and the mistakes we make.


**This is my second Lizzie fic. It's based off a conversation I had with my best friend the other day. It just made me think of all the mistakes we tend to make in life. So here it is. Let me know what you think. I don't own Lizzie McGuire!**

"Lizzie, I need to talk to you," Miranda said as we walked through the woods on the back of my parent's property.

"What's up?" I asked, jumping over a log. We had both come home from college for a weekend, pretty much just to catch up with each other. We both went to school in California, but we were hours apart. Going home was really the only way we could see each other.

"I don't want to tell you this." She sighed heavily. "But I know I have to."

_She's had sex_. That's the first thing that popped into my head. She had been dating a boy for a few months who had been nothing but bad for her. Her grades were slipping because she spent all her time with him and she had started drinking because he did. My Miranda, the girl who had been co-president of SADD with me, drinking.

"I don't know how to say this." She paused, looking down at the ground. "I did it."

"You had sex," I stated, looking straight at her.

She avoided my eyes. "Yes, I did."

I sighed. I wasn't surprised. Sometimes, I just know things. And with Miranda, I generally do.

"Why?" I asked, wading through the creek.

"I wanted to. He wanted to. So we did."

"How do you feel now?"

She finally looked at me, her dark eyes hollow. "Crappy. Really crappy."

We were both silent for a few minutes. We sat on our little bridge that went across the creek. "Do you love him?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"No," she said firmly, looking into the distance. "Remember when I was asking you about that? How young was too young to be in love?"

"Yeah," I said, kicking my feet in the air slowly. "I said it all depended on the people. But I don't think nineteen is too young to be in love."

"And I agree with you." She looked wistfully into the sky. "I don't love him. I don't think I ever will. But I'm afraid to be without him."

"Randa, I thought you were stronger than that," I said softly. I was the one always chasing after boys, having one crush after another. Miranda was always the one who just listened to me, but never really liked anyone. But college had changed that.

"Lizzie, it's not that easy now. I'm not stronger than that. I'm weak when it comes to him."

"Then why stay with him?"

"I told you," she said sharply. "I'm afraid to not be with him." I didn't say anything after that. I didn't know what else to say.

"Lizzie," she said after a few minutes. "Are you mad at me?" She sounded like a little kid who had knocked over her parent's priceless vase.

"No Miranda, I'm not mad at you," I said, looking over at her. "You're a big girl now. You are going to make you own mistakes. I'm not your mom. And besides, I think you are more disappointed in yourself than I could ever be in you."

She nodded. "You're right. Somehow, you just know me."

"That's what best friends are for," I said, pulling her into a hug.

"Thanks," she whispered, resting her head on my shoulder as we watched the sun settle into its bed for the night.

We sat there for a long time, not saying anything. I love Miranda so much, but sometimes she just made me so sad. She would spend her entire life disappointing herself, yet she would never do anything to make it any better. She'd stay with Michael, probably marry him, and be disappointed in herself for settling for less than she deserved. She'd probably drop out of college and work at some meaningless job, disappointed in herself for not following her dreams. She'd probably continue having sex with Michael, trying to convince her that she loved him and he loved her, even with that wasn't true. Over and over again she'd disappoint herself. She was dooming herself to a live of unhappiness because she simply couldn't grasp the concept of making herself happy.

And I would be there for her. I'd most likely fall in love, graduate college and find a career I like. I'd get married and start a family. I would go on living my life despite Miranda's disappointments. But I would always be there for her. No matter how deeply she disappointed me and herself. I would always be there.


End file.
